Celebrating Life

It’s your final celebration, so why not make it a memorable one?

While traditional funerals stand strong, celebratory end-of-life gatherings are also trending. People are becoming more involved in their own celebration of life planning and family is getting more creative with how they deal with the remains of loved ones. Their hope is that planning prior to passing will ensure specific personal detail will be a part of the gathering.

People are bringing more aspects of the individual physically into the event and sometimes creating theme and decor around the person, more than just typical linens, tables and flowers and a video. If the deceased was an avid golfer, they may request guests wear golf attire, or have their clubs and favorite outfit there as decor. If the person were a baker, the deceased may request favorite recipes or baked goods be given out as guests depart the celebration. Some celebrations involve choreographed dance or improv rap while others involve celebrating the deceased love for the outdoors with a boating or nautical themed celebration.

“One celebration that sticks out in my mind is a gentleman who was passing on and really wanted to celebrate his love for Harley Davidsons. We brought in his Harley right into the middle of the celebration. We drove it in, and it was loud. The motorcycle roared in past a display of dozens of his Harley Davidson T-shirts that people could also get up close to, adding another tactile way to remember the man” says Sharon Bonner with Bright Ideas Events.

Bonner says, “People are also getting more creative with how they deal with the remains of their loved ones. I remember being at an event and saying ‘What a beautiful fish sculpture.’ The ashes were in the fish. It caught me off guard because it just looked like a piece of decor.”

People want to pay their respects in a celebratory way, and have a personal relationship with the experience as well. They want to leave thinking about all the great times they had with the person. So bringing those experiences to the event lets the guests take away a memory of how great the relationship was with the departed.

The celebration is about giving people one more chance to connect with a loved one, so why not make it personal and celebratory? Here are a few ideas of how to make the celebration more engaging:

  • Ask attendees to bring along a story or memory of your loved one to share.
  • Ask guests to share a memorable song.
  • A balloon release, seed toss, blowing bubbles or lighting luminaries.
  • Create a display of the loved one’s collectibles.
  • Fireworks, sparklers and floating lanterns are also memorable ways to celebrate life.

For information about funeral planning and cremations, contact one of our knowledgeable staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations. Visit our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can call us today at (850) 627-1111.

Tips for Writing a Eulogy

Writing a eulogy and finding the words to honor someone you loved can seem like an impossible task. If someone you know and love has passed away, it can be an extremely difficult time, particularly if you’ve been tasked with writing a eulogy. Creating a eulogy for someone can seem daunting, and you definitely want to ensure that you’ve chosen the right words to say that will honor their memory. If you’ve been given this seemingly monumental task, here are eight helpful tips you can use to ensure that you craft a eulogy that will always be cherished.

 

Sum It Up

Although you probably have plenty to say, a standard eulogy should not last for more than approximately five minutes. The longer the speech, the more people may become restless or, daresay even bored. Focus on the main points of your eulogy and write everything down. Then, practice saying it aloud using a timer so you can be sure that the entire speech lasts around five minutes or so.

 

Make It Personal

Funerals can be difficult, but there’s no reason you can’t inject some personal elements into the eulogy. Focus on the good times and the positive things about the person who has passed, and don’t be afraid to add a touch of mild humor if it will make everyone reflect on what a wonderful human being they were.

Remember, if you’ve been tasked with writing the eulogy, you’re obviously someone who was very close to the deceased. Don’t hesitate to add in a few personal stories or memories that you hold dear. If you don’t know the person very well, talk to close family members and friends. Most will be more than happy to recount some personal moments that they would like to share with everyone.

Create an outline for your eulogy and then fill in the blanks from there. You can also add a few anecdotes about the person’s favorite sports team, musical interests, or hobbies to make it more personal.

 

Keep It Positive

Although the moment will surely be a somber one, there’s no reason you should not or cannot remain.

The purpose of a eulogy is to honor someone who has passed, so keep that in mind as you write your speech. The goal is to not add any additional pain to those who have attended the funeral, but instead to cast the deceased in a positive light.

 

Pre-write Your Eulogy

Even if you’ve mapped out exactly what you plan to say in your head, it’s essential that you transfer those thoughts to paper. Take a closer look at your speech and edit it as needed before the funeral.

Once it’s final, print it out on paper and make sure that it’s printed in a large enough font you can easily see. You never want to be unprepared, particularly in a situation like this, so having everything written out is crucial.

You can print several copies of the eulogy if you wish to give them to close friends and family members as a keepsake.

 

Delivery Is Everything

Make sure the eulogy you give is in a light, conversational tone. Stay conversational so that the audience stays engaged. Make eye contact as you talk, looking up from your paper every few sentences or so. This will keep everyone focused on what you’re saying, and it helps to create a more comforting environment.

 

Add a Biography

Before you dive into stories and sentimental moments, write a short biography about the deceased person’s life. This can include where they were born, a short synopsis of their children, and what they did for a career. Creating a bio will give the audience some insight into the person’s life and you might even mention a few facts that people weren’t aware of. The bio can be around a paragraph long, but it’s a very important element of any eulogy.

 

Small Stuff Is Important

When creating your eulogy, remember to add a few small details like introducing yourself at the beginning and tell everyone your relationship to the deceased. Thank everyone for coming and be sure to mention why everyone is gathered together. These small details will ease everyone into the eulogy and help them focus on you and what you are saying.

 

Ending on a Good Note

Saying goodbye to someone we love is difficult, but if you end on a good note, the eulogy will stay positive. Close out your speech by mentioning the impact the deceased had on your life and the lives of others. You can finish the speech by saying a final goodbye, and maybe mention something about this being exactly the way the person would want things to be. By adding something happy or positive to the end of your speech, everyone will think of the good things about the person who has passed.

 

However you frame it, writing a eulogy is never easy, but it can have a lasting impact on peoples’ lives. By following these simple tips, you can create a eulogy that will honor and cherish the memory of someone you love.

Facts About Cremation

In the past few years, cremation has been selected by nearly half of the families involved in planning funerals and continues to grow each year. Cremation, over traditional burial has started to surge in popularity, so listed below are three items that may shed new light on some aspects of the cremation process:

Cremation Beginnings

It wasn’t until 1876 that the first official crematory was built in the United States, in Washington, Pennsylvania. Just three years earlier, the first chamber had been created in Italy, although Romans had long before stored remains during the days of their Empire. It would be another eight years before the next crematory would open, this one also being built in Pennsylvania at Lancaster.

Heat, Not Flames

Many people assume that the cremation process focuses on flames engulfing the casket or container. However, modern cremation focuses on the intense heat within the chamber, which reaches up to 2,000 degrees. This results in the ashes or cremains, though any remaining bone fragments are pressed into a fine powder.

Not Everything Burns

During this process, the body will be converted into ashes, but many items inside a body may not. These include gold teeth fillings, metal plates, screws or prostheses, and in some cases, surgical scissors. Before the ashes are removed, these items are collected by using an electromagnet, and are later disposed in the proper manner.

Lifesong has the experience to make sure that each cremation we handle is performed with the utmost sensitivity and respect for the deceased. If the need arises in the future, we are ready to assist.

 

Exploring Cremation Keepsakes

Bidding farewell to a loved one or friend can seem as if there’s no chance to maintain a lasting relationship with that individual now that they’re gone. Not having them close to you is something that truly strikes at the heart of most people’s fears about this type of situation. Cremation eliminates the task of burying an individual in the ground, as well traveling to a nearby cemetery. Not being anywhere near that cemetery can make the loss feel even deeper.

When it comes to avoiding such circumstances, cremation keepsakes like urns, wind chimes, clocks and uniquely shaped items serve as ways to help keep the deceased nearby. Each have their own way of helping remind those who are left behind that their loved one is still nearby.

Placing ashes within a clock is a way to have a daily reminder of the departed, since the ritual of checking the time is something that each of us do on a regular basis. These specially crafted items can have a photo of the deceased included so that each check of the time will include the chance to remember your loved one.

The urn offers a visual representation of the deceased’s memory, but something like wind chimes will help recall them whenever a breeze blows.

Urns are the traditional and most familiar way of holding on to such memories. They come in a variety of shapes and types that can truly capture the spirit of either the person that receives the ashes or the deceased themselves.

Regardless of whether or not cremation keepsakes such as this are what capture the essence of the individual involved, they provide more welcoming surroundings than a  gravesite that might possibly be thousands of miles away. These come in options like crystal, silver, bronze, pewter, marble and ceramic.

Specific items that are even more unique can also serve as a final resting place for ashes, with some of these coming in the shape of a cross. Others can take the form of a frame. An engraving on the metal that captures the spirit of the departed is possible. This can take the form of simple birth and death dates or something more elaborate, such as a favorite quote or warm memory from the individual’s life. One other item might be a scattering tube, if the ashes will be scattered in a specific area that captures the person’s life in a nutshell.

As a cremation provider, Lifesong has served its clients with top-notch service. Each member of our staff has extensive experience in dealing with the delicate nature of the issues involved. This includes showing the many cremation keepsake options available to our clients.

 

Coping with Grief: The Healing Power of Pets

The ability of pets to provide comfort to humans in times of illness or grief is recognized by medical professionals, therapists, and hospice workers around the world. People who are facing death or mourning the loss of a loved one are often calmed and reassured by the loving companionship of a pet.

Pets are known for their unconditional love, and in times of stress, many seem to know instinctively just how to respond. Loyal pets have been known to lay by ones side, attentive and patient, while they were in bed with the flu. That same kind of response can provide immense comfort in loss and bereavement. Because pets are so undemanding, a suffering human can welcome the opportunity to touch or snuggle up with a pet with absolute trust.

If one does not own a pet, animal assisted therapy (AAT) programs can help to improve the quality of life for the sick and the grieving. Developed in the 1970s, AAT’s origins can be traced to the Mayans, an ancient culture of people who believed that each person is assigned a “soul animal” as a guide through life.

AAT volunteers are specially trained individuals who bring their companion animals to homes and health care facilities to visit and interact with patients and their families who are confronting serious illness, death, and bereavement. By participating in AAT, people can benefit from contact with animals without the responsibility of pet ownership. AAT has gained rapid acceptance as dozens of studies revealed the amazing impacts of pet-human relationships.

Pets have been known to lower blood pressure, ease feelings of sadness and pessimism, and reduce the loneliness of patients in long-term care facilities. Children who have pets adjust better to the serious illness or death of a parent. Senior citizens who own pets have fewer doctor visits and reduced health care costs.

A University of California, San Francisco study published in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care even found that a companion pet or animal can help a person cope with stressful life events, prevent loneliness, and decrease depression. The healing power of pets is beneficial on many levels:

Emotional Benefits:
Research has shown that people who interact with animals may experience increased levels of oxytocin. One study found that the simple act of making eye contact with their dogs when they got home from work increased oxytocin in a sample of women. On an emotional level oxcytocin helps mothers bond with their newborn babies, human couples establish a a greater sense of intimacy and it has been linked to increased feelings of self esteem, optimism and trust.

In addition to oxytocin there is some evidence to suggest that interaction with a friendly animal can decease levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and raise levels of the feel-good brain chemical dopamine.

Physical Benefits:
Pet ownership has been linked to physical benefits such as reduced risk for heart disease, lower stress levels, fewer doctors visits, lower cholesterol, and lower blood pressure.

Again we can refer back to hormones and chemicals like oxytocin, cortisol and dopamine. Oxytocin has been found to relive pains like headaches, cramps and overall body aches. Lower levels of cortisol can account for lower stress levels and contributes to some of those heart and blood pressure related benefits.

Social Benefits:
It makes logical sense that pet ownership would reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Pets fulfill emotional needs like the need for love, security, companionship, and comfort. Taking care of a pet also fulfills the need to nurture and take care of a other living thing and can give people a sense of purpose.

Whether you were aware of the healing power of animals or you just realized they made you feel good, we encourage you to include your pet in your list of strengths when it comes to coping and healing from grief. If you are interested in pursuing therapy pets, contact the animal therapy program at Tallahassee’s TMH for more information about the program and how it may benefit you.