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Downsizing after a Funeral

Downsizing after funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL is an inevitable necessity when someone dies. Our families must close the book of our lives. First, this means putting legal, insurance, financial, digital, and, if our loved ones were still employed, work-related matters in order. Certified death certificates are required for most of these activities, so at least 20 copies of the certified death certificate should be obtained from the funeral home (if there are a lot of assets or a substantial estate, you will need at least double that number of certified death certificates).

However, those things are fairly simple, albeit time-consuming, in some cases, for our families to do when compared with the task of deciding how to handle our personal belongings.

What we have and own defines who we are. We might collect books or vinyl records. We might have model car or model airplane collections. We might be artists with lots of art supplies. We might be musicians with lots of instruments, equipment, and sheet music. Regardless of our hobbies and interests, we all have things in our personal belongings that identify us as us, and anyone who knows us well, including our families, know those things are entwined in who we were when we were alive.

Because of that, deciding what to do with our personal belongings after we die can be, for our families, emotional, taxing, and it can include a lot of wavering as to whether to keep things or get rid of them.

For some people, in the immediate aftermath of losing someone they love, there is an urge to purge everything that reminds them of that person. For other people, the idea of parting with anything that belonged to their loved one is something they can’t bear, so they end up not downsizing at all.

Neither of these is an optimal way to move forward after a loved one’s death. Purging everything means that family members don’t get an opportunity to keep things that remind them of their deceased loved one and things that could be used by other people just get thrown away. Not getting rid of anything belonging to a deceased loved one means, in practical purposes, that things that need to be discarded are not and things that should be given away either to family or charities just take up space and provide constant reminders of the loss.

The best way to downsize after a loved one dies is to get other family members or a couple of friends to help you with the process. Not only does this provide emotional support, but it also provides objectivity and makes this task easier to do.

The first step is to create a stage area for downsized item. Divide a room (the living room or den is usually big enough to do this easily) in four sections with empty boxes in each section. One section will be for items to be thrown away. Another section will be for items you want to keep. A third section will be for items that that will go to other family members. And the fourth section will be for items that will be donated to charities. Label each section using a piece of paper affixed to the wall that identifies the section.

Downsize methodically, with everyone who is helping working in one room at a time. It’s easy to get distracted and start bouncing all over place, leaving all the rooms started, but none of them finished. This will make the process harder and longer.

Clothing, glasses, hearing aids, medical equipment, and furniture can all be donated to charitable organizations. You can find places to donate them by looking online or calling local nonprofit organizations.

If you want to know more about downsizing after funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help. You can come by our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can contact us today at (850) 627-1111.

Myths about Death Positive

Many cremation services are offered in Tallahassee, FL. Among them are an effort to see death as something that we need to be aware of and to accept as the final destination that each of comes to at some point in human existence. While death is sad and represents loss, it doesn’t change the fact that each of us will come face to face with it, either in losing people we love, or in losing our own lives.

Death positivity is many things, but there are some things that it is not.

One of these is that death positivity is not a movement driven by people who have dark outlooks on life and are living to die. Instead, it a movement that looks at death as a natural occurrence in life, and that means that people need to be cognizant of death, talking about death, and preparing for death. The art and visuals that are associated with death positivity are not meaningless. Instead, they focus on putting the needs of the family and the deceased person first. And that means looking for ways to reform the way humanity views death, as well as the way medical professionals handle death.

Another myth about death positivity is that it focuses on the ideals of a good death, while ignoring the fact that many people suffer terribly when they die. What a good death means in practice is that each of us can define, within the limits of being human, how we die. This includes having living wills, which keep us from having to undergo unnecessary procedures while we incur huge medical bills when we’re dying.

It also includes having do not resuscitate (DNR) orders and do no intubate (DNI) orders in place so that our lives are not prolonged when they have naturally ended. Additionally, we can choose where we die. Many people are now choosing to die at home, instead of going into nursing facilities or the hospital to die.

We can also choose our funeral arrangements, which can include burial or cremation. We can choose the kind of services that we want to be held to remember our lives. In other words, dying a good death means being a full participant in our deaths.

One of the most prevailing myths about death positivity is that there is no fear of death nor grieving about death. Nothing could be further from the truth. While there may be acceptance of death, that doesn’t mean there’s necessarily an absence of all fear. It’s easy to accept death when you’re not face to face with it. However, the closer we get to death, the more likely that some fears will arise. That’s normal. We wouldn’t be human if they didn’t.

One of the things that death positivity tries to address is how to manage the natural fears that we may encounter about death. It’s a roadmap to walk through the fears, not pretending that they’re not there.

Believing that grief is not a part of death is absurd. Grief is a natural result of death, because it is another expression of love. Death positivity doesn’t take away bereavement over the loss of somebody we love. Grieving is a process that everybody who loses somebody will go through. The intensity may last weeks, months, or even years. Eventually, though, the intensity changes, and grief becomes silent, mostly unseen partner that walks with us the rest of our lives.

For more information about cremation services offered in Tallahassee, FL, including grief resources, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations is here to assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can call us today at (850) 627-1111.

The Origins of Father’s Day

At some point in time we will say goodbye to our dads in funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL. No Father’s Day that passes after that will be bittersweet, as we remember our fathers who have died and are reminded of how much we miss them, and we celebrate the fathers who are still among our families.

The origins of Father’s Day are shrouded in more mystery than the origins of Mother’s Day. But it’s good to go back and see where this tradition in America began.

The worst industrial accident in the history of the United States is the Monongah Mine Disaster. You’ve probably never even heard of it. On December 6, 1907 in Monongah, West Virginia, approximately 365 boys and men, between the ages of 10 and 65, were killed when a couple of catastrophic explosions occurred in mine #6 and mine #8.

The two mines were side by side, so when an explosion hit each one, the miners inside didn’t stand a chance. The noise and quake from the blasts could be heard and felt as far as 10 miles away from the mines.

The approximate figure of 365 dead is the official number given by the company. However, local residents were aware that the actual number of dead was much higher. The disparity between the company numbers and the actual number of fatalities comes from several factors.

One was that the explosion was so horrific that many of the bodies were just vaporized on impact. The second factor was that the company moved quickly to cover up the devastating nature of the accident so that the mining industry would not be adversely affected. Interestingly, although the coal company said that they could never know exactly how many men and boys died that day, they did have an accurate count of how many mules and horses they lost.

The impact on the surrounding community was great. At least 250 women lost their husbands and over 1,000 children lost their dads. Because the mines were so large, there were scarcely a person in the surrounding region who is not directly affected by the disaster. The grief was palpable.

Six months later, Mrs. Grace Goldin Clayton proposed that a special service be held in Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church South in Fairmont, West Virginia. The purpose of the service was to pay tribute to fathers and father figures who had died in the disaster. Dr. Robert Thomas Webb, the church’s pastor, agreed and the first Father’s Day service was observed on July 5, 1908.

Officially, for the US, the first Father’s Day was held in Washington state in 1910 at a YMCA. However, that date is two years after the Father’s Day service in Fairmont, West Virginia. The main reason that this disaster and the Father’s Day that followed have been lost to history, is because the Father’s Day service was overshadowed by July 4, when America celebrates its independence from England.

Unlike West Virginia today, in the early 1900s it had many boom towns, one of which was Fairmont. Fairmont, at the time, had more millionaires who resided there than any other part of the country. As can be imagined, many of these millionaires were involved in mining companies in the region. Because of the wealth in Fairmont, they had one of the biggest and most spectacular Fourth of July celebrations anywhere in the United States. By the morning of July 5, 2008, a little service, comparatively speaking, at a church got almost no notice.

If you want to know more about funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help. You can come by our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can contact us today at (850) 627-1111.

Remembering Cremation Services On Anniversaries

You might think that your loved one’s cremation service in Tallahassee, FL is the hardest thing you will have to go through, and it might very well be just that. However, when the anniversary of their death rolls around, or their birthday, a holiday, and other special events, you are going to feel your grief in a fresh manner yet again. How can you remember their cremation service and keep their memory alive and well? Here are a few suggestions to get you through those tough days.

Have Another Memorial

There’s no limit on how many memorials you can have for a loved one. When the anniversary of their cremation service comes around, there’s nothing wrong with gathering family members and close friends and having another memorial. You don’t have to do anything as big as the first one. You can keep it low key and allow family to get together, have a meal, talk about your loved one, and tell stories and memories to one another.

Tape The Service

With today’s technology behind you, there are a variety of ways to get a recording of the service when you have it. You could have some video the service or audio tape it so you can listen to or watch the service again at a later date. This is a good way to remember who was there, what was said, and how everyone remembered your loved one at the first cremation service. You might feel like you are in a fog during the actual event so watching or listening to it later can really help.

Start A New Tradition

Was there something your loved one adored? Did they go to the library and read to children? Did they visit people in the hospital? Serve at a soup kitchen? Whatever cause they supported, you could start a new tradition on their cremation service anniversary by doing something to honor them. Gather a few friends and start a new tradition that they would have loved. You’re taking their place within the cause and honoring their memory at the same time. It’s a nice way to remember them and a great way for you to get through the day when you are struggling with the anniversary.

There are no right or wrong ways to get through an anniversary. You have to listen to your grief and do what you feel is best for your situation. These ideas can help you get through the day and move into the future as best you can. After the Tallahassee, FL cremation service, talk to family about what they might want to do a year later. You can also contact Lifesong Funerals & Cremations for ideas on how other people have honored loved ones on cremation anniversaries. Call us at (850) 627-1111 to talk about the options or visit our funeral director at 20 S Duval St, Quincy, FL 32351 and we’ll help in any way we can. You can also get information about us, our services, and other options on our website.

Funeral Homes Beyond The Funeral

When someone in your family passes on, funeral homes are there to help you with the final services. But beyond the funeral, it’s good to know that the professionals who work in the funeral industry are there for other things as well. What can you contact them for, even once the funeral is over and done with? Here are a few reasons you might get in touch with a funeral home in Tallahassee, FL. And understand that the professionals are still there to help you in any way they can.

Grief Resources

Funeral homes deal with death and grieving on a regular basis. It makes sense that they would research grief and have resources available for a variety of situations. If you’ve lost a child, a parent, a spouse, or anyone else close to you, the funeral home will likely have resources that are customized to your situation so you can move forward with the help you need. Grief is different for everyone and acts at its own pace. You can get grief group information, local counselor details, websites to visit, and more from your funeral home.

Funeral Questions

When you go through a final service of any kind, you might feel as if you are in a daze. You’re grieving and going through the motions, but you’re not completely there. Later on, once you’ve had time to process things, you might have questions. What did you do with the guest book? Who were those bouquets of flowers from? The funeral home was heavily involved in all of the details and they may be able to answer some of your questions so you can get back on track with thank you cards and other details.

Steady Compassion

You will mostly lean on your family members and friends when you need support after the funeral, but the funeral home representatives are still going to treat you with the compassion you need, even after the funeral is over. When you call with questions or have comments about the job they did for your loved one, you are going to be met with that compassion and respect each and every time.

Funeral homes are always going to be there to help with final services or with pre-planning future services. However, when you walk through a final service and need something after everything is behind you, they are still there for those needs as well. Contact Lifesong Funerals & Cremations when you need final service plans implemented or, once the services are complete, call for any other reason. If we can’t help you, we’ll gladly point you in the right direction. Reach us at (850) 627-1111 or visit with our funeral director at our facilities, which are located at 20 S Duval St, Quincy, FL 32351. You might be able to get some of the details you need on our website as well. Check us out there at lifesongfunerals.com. We’re here for your final service needs, whether you’re planning ahead or struggling with grief after they are complete.