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Don’t Wait to Plan End-of-Life Care

Before funerals at funeral homes in Quincy, FL, everyone should have a care plan in place for the end of their lives. But as cases of COVID-19 continue to grow across the country, including in Florida, it is critical that you don’t delay getting your end-of-life care plan in place and communicating what you want with your family.

The COVID-19 pandemic is teaching us many things, not the least of which is that things can change suddenly. This includes your health. You may be fine today, but there is no guarantee that you’ll be fine tomorrow. That’s the way this virus works.

What you can do today – and what you should do today – is to create your end-of-life care plan and make sure that your family knows what kind of care you want. There are several legal documents that you need to make sure you have.

The first legal document is a medical proxy. When you create a medical proxy, you designate someone that you trust and who knows your medical history and your end-of-life care wishes to make medical decisions for you if you are not able to make them for yourself.

You may also want to list a second person as an alternative, in case your primary health care proxy isn’t able to fulfill their duties.

A medical proxy, which is also known as a medical power of attorney, can be created online, using legal software, or by an attorney. A medical proxy is legal as long as it is signed and dated. You should give a copy to your primary care provider and to the person that you’ve designated as your proxy.

If you go to the hospital, you need to make sure that the document is included in your electronic records. This will make it easier for your medical proxy to advocate for your healthcare if you can’t, including making end-of-life decisions.

The second legal document that you need is a living will. A living will let you specify the kind of care that you want at the end of your life.

You can opt for every possible medical intervention to be used to save your life if you are dying or you can opt for no medical intervention, except for medication to keep you comfortable and pain-free, when you are at the end of your life.

This is a vital document during the COVID-19 pandemic. If you do not have it, medical personnel will default to doing everything possible to try to save your life. While the odds are good that you will die anyway, they will perform very painful procedures to try to prolong your life.

This means that you could spend several days or weeks and a lot of money in the hospital with the same outcome you would have had if no medical intervention happened. You may be someone who wants all the medical care possible or you may be someone who doesn’t.

If you don’t want medical intervention at the end of your life, your living will ensures that your wishes are honored.

You can create a living will the same way that you create your medical proxy. A living will is legal as long as it is signed and dated.

The final legal document you need to have in place is a will or trust. These legal instruments let you appoint someone to take care of your final affairs after you die, including taking care of outstanding debts and distributing your assets as you specify.

If you want to know more about planning end-of-life care from funeral homes in Quincy, FL, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help.

How to Get Through the Fog of Grief

Access to grief resources after a cremation service is available in Tallahassee. One of the normal side effects of the grieving process is not being able to think clearly for an extended period of time after your loved one has died. Even though this condition is common and will eventually end, it can be very troubling while you’re experiencing it.

This physiological and neurological condition, known as the fog of grief, is not something that you are just imaging is happening. It’s a very real to loss, but it may seem that your capacity to think, to respond, or even to process information is permanently altered.

Grief counseling professionals explain that this feeling of being in a fog, being unable to remember simple things like where we put our car keys or even important dates needed for filing paperwork, is the brain and body’s cumulative response to trauma.

While you may not think of the death of someone you love as being traumatic, it is, of all of life’s experiences, one of the most traumatic events you will experience. The shock you feel after suffering a great personal loss can have any number of effects, but these effects are all manifestations of the mind’s urgent need to stop and process what has happened.

For example, after your loved one has died, you may find that your grief literally makes even the smallest or easiest task seem overwhelming and impossible to do. You may find that if the communication of well-meaning family and friends consists of more than a few words or a short sentence, your mind immediately shuts down and you are unable to answer them.

Your thinking and movements will be slowed and muddled, and everything seems like you’re trying to walk through quicksand. There may be times when you feel like you have shut down completely.

But even though ever recovering from this state seems too far away or even impossible at these times, you need to be assured that, in time, you will start slowly healing from your loss, and the fog of grief will gradually start to lift.

The fog of grief typically has three components.

Emotionally, you are trying to make sense of what has happened and are often puzzled that the outside world is seemingly oblivious and is still going about as if nothing monumental has happened.

Neurologically, you are in a form of mental self-protection, which is essential until you can safely begin to process the loss of your loved one and move forward. This component explains the memory lapses and the slowed thinking that you experience in the fog of grief.

Finally, there is the physical component, which causes you to feel extreme fatigue because all of your resources are diverted toward healing the trauma you have experienced.

The fog of grief can be quite confusing and disruptive while it lasts. However, most grief professionals see it as a necessary part of our overall recovery as you take the road through grief into a new and different life.

There is a consensus that the fog of grief generally lasts between two and seven months after you lose your loved one. However, it may last even longer than that for you.

Be patient because that there is no one timetable or calendar that applies to everybody. What grief counselors stress, instead, is the importance of allowing yourself to acknowledge and fully experience your grief, however long that takes you.

For more information about obtaining grief resources after a cremation service in Tallahassee, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations is here to assist you.

What Happens When a Person is Dying?

Before Tallahassee cremation services, you may have a loved one who is dying from a chronic illness or a terminal illness. It can be helpful to understand what the general stages of the dying process are so that you can be there for our your loved one all the way through to their last breath.

Although there can be some variations, the following stages of dying are experienced by the vast majority of terminally ill patients. If you familiarize yourself these stages, you’ll be able to recognize them, understand them, and then help your loved one as they make their way through each stage. Rather than viewing this progression of death as something unusual or even fearful, you will be able to see it as a normal and natural process instead.

The first stage of dying that you will observe in your loved one is their gradual withdrawal from the world around them. During this stage, your loved one slowly becomes less interested in the outside world and the things and people it contains.

You will notice this happening even with things that may have previously given your loved one great pleasure or may have been very important in their life. This slow disengagement by your loved one is not something to be alarmed by.

Instead, this withdrawal is a sign that your loved one is becoming more introspective and attentive to things inside themselves. This disconnection by your loved one is a natural part of the journey they must travel to accept death and be at peace with death.

In the next stage of the dying process, your loved one will begin to lose interest in eating or drinking anything. Although at first it can be troubling or even somewhat sad to witness, it’s important to remember that this, too, is a normal. As your loved one begins dying, they no longer need the fuel for energy that they did when they were still more active.

In this stage, your loved one will feel less uncomfortable and less distressed if you do not try to cajole or force them to eat or drink. At this late stage, doing this is not only unnecessary, but it also can create pain for your loved one.

The lowered intake of food and fluids will result in physical changes in how your loved one processes the output of waste. For example, urine will appear darker or cloudy, or your loved one may become experience bladder and bowel incontinence.

When this happens, keep in mind that this is very common in this stage of dying. If your loved one is embarrassed about their incontinence, you can comfort and reassure them that this, too, is merely a natural part of the dying process.

During the next stage of dying, your loved one may begin talking about visions they are seeing or conversations they are having with people who aren’t there. Many times, the people they are seeing or talking with are important people in their lives who have already died.

Your loved one may talk about taking trips and may even invite you to go with them or ask you to help them get to their destination. Listen carefully and converse with your loved one about the trips they want to take, because this is often a sign that death is close (with a matter of days or a week or so).

During the final stages of dying, your loved one will begin to lose color or appear “bruised” as circulation slows and the extremities cool. They may be mostly unresponsive, except to your voice or to the mention of something important to them.

Near the end of the dying process, your loved one’s breathing will become irregular and increasingly shallow. This may last for a day or two or for a few hours. At the very end of the dying process, your loved one’s breathing slows – and its rhythm may suddenly change – until it stops altogether, and a pulse is no longer discernible.

If you want to know about the full range of Tallahassee cremation services, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help.

Handling Life Insurance Payments after a Spouse’s Death

Tallahassee cremation services

After a spouse’s cremation in Tallahassee, FL, you, as the surviving spouse, will need to take care of your deceased loved one’s financial affairs.

One component of these financial affairs is life insurance policy payouts (if you don’t have life insurance, please consider purchasing a policy so that your spouse will have a measure of financial security after you die).

Life insurance policy payouts can often be for a substantial amount of money that is paid in one lump sum. It’s important that you know how to allocate this money so that you have long-term financial security and it’s important that you hire a qualified professional to help you make the wisest allocation choices.

So, how should you proceed?

It is possible that you have a friend or family member who is either a financial professional or who is well-versed and experienced in financial planning. If this is the case, then you can ask for their assistance or their referral to someone who would be willing to advise you in financial matters.

Even if you feel certain that you will be able to successfully manage your finances on your own and navigate through the changes that your new financial circumstances will bring, it’s still very important for you to get guidance and support from someone with expertise in handling life insurance policy payouts.

The reason for this is simple. A financial planner with life insurance policy payout experience will not only be able to provide an objective analysis of your financial situation, but they will also be able to advise you on other aspects of your financial outlook as well.

This would encompass things like identifying new financial priorities, new expenses that need to be considered (such as retirement funds or tax liabilities), or whether your current investments need to be reexamined in light of the life insurance proceeds.

When you are still processing and grieving the death of your spouse, you may discover that you have more difficulty making sound and well-thought-out decisions regarding you and your family’s future. So, if you get good financial guidance immediately, you’ll be able to avoid any surprises or pitfalls later.

Once you have a financial adviser, you need to do an accurate assessment of your current situation so that you can present a comprehensive picture of your financial situation as possible. Rather than tackling everything at once, focus first on those things that need to be paid immediately.

This will include things like funeral arrangements, hospital bills, living expenses, tuition payments, etc. After you’ve identified these, it will be easier to develop a new, comprehensive budget that encompasses all your finances, including monthly bills like mortgage or utility payments and any other debts, like credit cards and car payments. You should also look into whether you or your dependents are eligible for social security benefits as well.

When you take a realistic look at your debt, you can prioritize the things that should be paid off first, such as credit cards with a high interest rate.

Then you need to ask some questions: cremation service in Tallahassee

Can I afford to stay in my home?
Do I have what I need to put my children through college?
Can I retire the way I planned to?

Answering these questions and developing a new financial strategy may seem impossible at first, but by acquiring sound and steady financial guidance, you will have everything you need to make sure you have what you need when you need it.

For more information about life insurance and cremation in Tallahassee, FL, including grief resources, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations is here to assist you.

When Families Hide the Nearness of Death

Before a Tallahassee cremation, as loved ones who are severely or terminally ill draw closer to death, some of their immediate family members may decide not to share the information that their lives are coming to an end with them.

There is no malice behind this. Instead, the family is trying to shelter the person who is dying from the reality that their death is very close. However, by keeping their loved one from knowing the truth of their condition, family members are creating consequences they may not consider.

By keeping the truth from their dying love one, for example, family members are making it impossible for their loved ones to be able to voice their questions and fears about dying and death.

It’s easier to understand the position we are putting our loved ones in when we hide the truth about imminent death from them if we put ourselves in their shoes. We should ask ourselves these questions:

If I know that death is just a few days, weeks, or months away, what would I want to say to my loved ones?
What would I want to ask about dying and death, and what would I need to hear that would help me be at peace?
Who would I want to be with me, and what types of decisions would I need to make?
Finally, are there certain things that are meaningful to me — books, mementos, works of art, music — that I would want with me that would help me be more comfortable?

When we answer these questions for ourselves, we can gain valuable insights about why we may be hiding the nearness of death from our loved ones. It may be that we are not only trying to protect them from the reality that they are close to death, but we are also trying to protect ourselves from that reality. That protectiveness stems from an awareness that losing our loved one is going to be extremely painful and from an awareness that we also are mortal and are going to die.

However, we need to remember that our efforts to protect or shelter our loved ones is depriving them of what they need to do during their final days on earth. This includes giving them the ability speak openly and honestly about what they want, what they are feeling, and what they still need to say.

This is a gift that can only be given in situations like this, when we and our loved ones know we have only a certain amount of time, and a finite opportunity to make use of it. This can be a great starting place for the conversations that will produce healing, forgiveness, and peace, as well as the open communication of their love.

Here’s something else to keep in mind about the dying process and trying to hide knowledge of death from our loved ones. In most cases, our loved ones already know that death is approaching. By covering that up or denying its reality, we deprive our loved ones of the opportunity to talk candidly about his or her concerns or desires surrounding death and to be able to put their lives in order before they die.

It’s, therefore, very important that we are open and truthful our loved ones about their impending death. We – and they – will get the opportunity to do this right just once.

If you would like information about a Tallahassee cremation, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help.