How to Avoid Family Conflicts During Funeral Planning

When families are arranging funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL, they will be doing so during a time of intense stress caused by shock, grief, and loss. Even the most cooperative of families and those without internal preexisting issues may find themselves at odds with each other over how final arrangements should be done. For families with a more fractured history before the loss of a loved one, the task of making funeral arrangements is potential or permanent breaking point for the family.

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If the conflicts aren’t managed so that they don’t erupt, they can lead to long-term feelings of resentment and anger, which can lead to estrangement of family members from each other, something the deceased loved one would have never wanted.

One way to avoid family conflicts when arranging funerals is to remember that these arrangements are to show honor, respect, and love to the deceased family member. It is about them, not about the individual wishes and desires of the remaining family members.

The biggest reason for many of the disagreements that people have is a lack of communication. This happens in everyday life, at work, at school, and at home. Grieving families who are making funeral arrangements for a loved one must work hard at clear and timely communication with each other. However, not only should the words be said at the right time and in a clear way, but the tone in which they’re said should be respectful and calm. Shouting matches don’t resolve anything, but they can create resentment and hard feelings that may carry on far beyond the funeral.

All family members have to be willing to compromise in order to avoid conflicts while making funeral arrangements. Unless the deceased left specific instructions on what they wanted for their funeral, it’s up to the family to decide how best to memorialize their loved one. People will disagree on things, but it’s important to understand that the things that may be in dispute are little in the big scheme of things and not worth disrupting the entire process and possibly fracturing the family.

One family member may want the whole funeral done in one day. Another family member may want the visitation and funeral service in the evening of a day and the graveside service the next morning. There may be disagreements about casket sprays in terms of the design and flower color(s). There might be different ideas about the readings and music selected for the funeral service.

Everybody has to be willing to give, and the best way to compromise is to make sure that everybody gets something they want included in the funeral arrangements. It should be, if possible, the thing that is most important to them. This way every family member gets an equal part in the process.

Another way to avoid family conflicts when making funeral arrangements is to share the responsibilities. In most families, when the sibling the ones make arrangements, the oldest usually defaults back to the childhood role of being in charge. This inevitably leads to that sibling being saddled with the majority of the responsibility for making the funeral arrangements. It also excludes the rest of the siblings from having a role. Let go of childhood and let everyone do what they’re best at to make the funeral come together and to eliminate conflict.

For more guidance on avoiding family conflicts during funeral planning at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help. You can come by our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can contact us today at (850) 627-1111.

Downsizing after a Funeral

Downsizing after funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL is an inevitable necessity when someone dies. Our families must close the book of our lives. First, this means putting legal, insurance, financial, digital, and, if our loved ones were still employed, work-related matters in order. Certified death certificates are required for most of these activities, so at least 20 copies of the certified death certificate should be obtained from the funeral home (if there are a lot of assets or a substantial estate, you will need at least double that number of certified death certificates).

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However, those things are fairly simple, albeit time-consuming, in some cases, for our families to do when compared with the task of deciding how to handle our personal belongings.

What we have and own defines who we are. We might collect books or vinyl records. We might have model car or model airplane collections. We might be artists with lots of art supplies. We might be musicians with lots of instruments, equipment, and sheet music. Regardless of our hobbies and interests, we all have things in our personal belongings that identify us as us, and anyone who knows us well, including our families, know those things are entwined in who we were when we were alive.

Because of that, deciding what to do with our personal belongings after we die can be, for our families, emotional, taxing, and it can include a lot of wavering as to whether to keep things or get rid of them.

For some people, in the immediate aftermath of losing someone they love, there is an urge to purge everything that reminds them of that person. For other people, the idea of parting with anything that belonged to their loved one is something they can’t bear, so they end up not downsizing at all.

Neither of these is an optimal way to move forward after a loved one’s death. Purging everything means that family members don’t get an opportunity to keep things that remind them of their deceased loved one and things that could be used by other people just get thrown away. Not getting rid of anything belonging to a deceased loved one means, in practical purposes, that things that need to be discarded are not and things that should be given away either to family or charities just take up space and provide constant reminders of the loss.

The best way to downsize after a loved one dies is to get other family members or a couple of friends to help you with the process. Not only does this provide emotional support, but it also provides objectivity and makes this task easier to do.

The first step is to create a stage area for downsized item. Divide a room (the living room or den is usually big enough to do this easily) in four sections with empty boxes in each section. One section will be for items to be thrown away. Another section will be for items you want to keep. A third section will be for items that that will go to other family members. And the fourth section will be for items that will be donated to charities. Label each section using a piece of paper affixed to the wall that identifies the section.

Downsize methodically, with everyone who is helping working in one room at a time. It’s easy to get distracted and start bouncing all over place, leaving all the rooms started, but none of them finished. This will make the process harder and longer.

Clothing, glasses, hearing aids, medical equipment, and furniture can all be donated to charitable organizations. You can find places to donate them by looking online or calling local nonprofit organizations.

If you want to know more about downsizing after funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help. You can come by our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can contact us today at (850) 627-1111.

The Origins of Father’s Day

At some point in time we will say goodbye to our dads in funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL. No Father’s Day that passes after that will be bittersweet, as we remember our fathers who have died and are reminded of how much we miss them, and we celebrate the fathers who are still among our families.

The origins of Father’s Day are shrouded in more mystery than the origins of Mother’s Day. But it’s good to go back and see where this tradition in America began.

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The worst industrial accident in the history of the United States is the Monongah Mine Disaster. You’ve probably never even heard of it. On December 6, 1907 in Monongah, West Virginia, approximately 365 boys and men, between the ages of 10 and 65, were killed when a couple of catastrophic explosions occurred in mine #6 and mine #8.

The two mines were side by side, so when an explosion hit each one, the miners inside didn’t stand a chance. The noise and quake from the blasts could be heard and felt as far as 10 miles away from the mines.

The approximate figure of 365 dead is the official number given by the company. However, local residents were aware that the actual number of dead was much higher. The disparity between the company numbers and the actual number of fatalities comes from several factors.

One was that the explosion was so horrific that many of the bodies were just vaporized on impact. The second factor was that the company moved quickly to cover up the devastating nature of the accident so that the mining industry would not be adversely affected. Interestingly, although the coal company said that they could never know exactly how many men and boys died that day, they did have an accurate count of how many mules and horses they lost.

The impact on the surrounding community was great. At least 250 women lost their husbands and over 1,000 children lost their dads. Because the mines were so large, there were scarcely a person in the surrounding region who is not directly affected by the disaster. The grief was palpable.

Six months later, Mrs. Grace Goldin Clayton proposed that a special service be held in Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church South in Fairmont, West Virginia. The purpose of the service was to pay tribute to fathers and father figures who had died in the disaster. Dr. Robert Thomas Webb, the church’s pastor, agreed and the first Father’s Day service was observed on July 5, 1908.

Officially, for the US, the first Father’s Day was held in Washington state in 1910 at a YMCA. However, that date is two years after the Father’s Day service in Fairmont, West Virginia. The main reason that this disaster and the Father’s Day that followed have been lost to history, is because the Father’s Day service was overshadowed by July 4, when America celebrates its independence from England.

Unlike West Virginia today, in the early 1900s it had many boom towns, one of which was Fairmont. Fairmont, at the time, had more millionaires who resided there than any other part of the country. As can be imagined, many of these millionaires were involved in mining companies in the region. Because of the wealth in Fairmont, they had one of the biggest and most spectacular Fourth of July celebrations anywhere in the United States. By the morning of July 5, 2008, a little service, comparatively speaking, at a church got almost no notice.

If you want to know more about funerals at funeral homes in Tallahassee, FL, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help. You can come by our funeral home at 20 S. Duval St., Quincy, FL 32351, or you can contact us today at (850) 627-1111.

Funeral Homes Beyond The Funeral

When someone in your family passes on, funeral homes are there to help you with the final services. But beyond the funeral, it’s good to know that the professionals who work in the funeral industry are there for other things as well. What can you contact them for, even once the funeral is over and done with? Here are a few reasons you might get in touch with a funeral home in Tallahassee, FL. And understand that the professionals are still there to help you in any way they can.

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Grief Resources

Funeral homes deal with death and grieving on a regular basis. It makes sense that they would research grief and have resources available for a variety of situations. If you’ve lost a child, a parent, a spouse, or anyone else close to you, the funeral home will likely have resources that are customized to your situation so you can move forward with the help you need. Grief is different for everyone and acts at its own pace. You can get grief group information, local counselor details, websites to visit, and more from your funeral home.

Funeral Questions

When you go through a final service of any kind, you might feel as if you are in a daze. You’re grieving and going through the motions, but you’re not completely there. Later on, once you’ve had time to process things, you might have questions. What did you do with the guest book? Who were those bouquets of flowers from? The funeral home was heavily involved in all of the details and they may be able to answer some of your questions so you can get back on track with thank you cards and other details.

Steady Compassion

You will mostly lean on your family members and friends when you need support after the funeral, but the funeral home representatives are still going to treat you with the compassion you need, even after the funeral is over. When you call with questions or have comments about the job they did for your loved one, you are going to be met with that compassion and respect each and every time.

Funeral homes are always going to be there to help with final services or with pre-planning future services. However, when you walk through a final service and need something after everything is behind you, they are still there for those needs as well. Contact Lifesong Funerals & Cremations when you need final service plans implemented or, once the services are complete, call for any other reason. If we can’t help you, we’ll gladly point you in the right direction. Reach us at (850) 627-1111 or visit with our funeral director at our facilities, which are located at 20 S Duval St, Quincy, FL 32351. You might be able to get some of the details you need on our website as well. Check us out there at lifesongfunerals.com. We’re here for your final service needs, whether you’re planning ahead or struggling with grief after they are complete.

Choosing Between Services At A Funeral Home

It’s never easy to deal with funeral homes because it means you’re planning final services, either for yourself in advance or for a loved one who has recently passed away. Whatever’s going on, the choices you make are going to have an impact on your family. How do you choose between the services from a funeral home in Tallahassee, FL? Here are some tips to consider as you move through the process:

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Tip 1: Look Through The Options

If you don’t automatically know what you’d like to do, look through the options with an open mind. Consider them all and try to imagine what each would be like. With any luck, one will stand out to you above the others and the choice will be more obvious. If not, you can move through some of the other tips to try and find a good fit. Keep in mind that most funeral homes will have packages to show you that include everything you need. But that doesn’t mean you just have to choose a package and call it good. You can customize anything you want and pick and choose between the options to get the right service.

Tip 2: Ask For Advice

Keep in mind that funeral home professionals are there to help you through the circumstances. If you aren’t sure what would be best for your loved one, tell the funeral home employees about that person and ask what they would suggest. They might have something in mind based on what that person liked and they might be able to tell you what could fit your family’s style as well, once they get to know more about all of you.

Tip 3: Consider The Costs

As much as you’d like to choose final services for yourself or a loved one without thinking of the funding, that’s not a good idea. You don’t want to choose a full funeral, for example, only to realize you really can’t afford it when you get to the payment phase. Think about the costs as you make choices and choose based on what you can afford. Both traditional and cremation services are completely honoring and respectful so there’s no wrong way to go in that way.

There are many other tips that a Tallahassee, FL funeral home can give to you if you are struggling in finding the right service for yourself or for a loved one. The professionals at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations are here to help you through the process, no matter what you need. We can make suggestions, show you the options, and help you along the way as you make the final decisions that are the best for your family. Once you know what you want, it’s easy enough for us to relieve you from the burdens and implement your plans. Call us at (850) 627-1111 and we’ll set up a time for you to meet with our funeral director in person. We’re located at 20 S Duval St, Quincy, FL 32351 and we’re here to help.