Respect at a Funeral
At funerals at Tallahassee funeral homes, your presence means that you either knew or cared for the person who died, or you know or care about the family or individual members of the person who died. While many of the funeral traditions of the past have relaxed in the last few decades, the respect that should be given by mourners to the deceased and the family of the deceased has not.
If you’re unsure of what is considered respectful, then these guidelines will help you.
First, don’t bring very small children (under the age of five, at a minimum) to a funeral or graveside service. Little ones don’t understand what is going on at a funeral, so they’re not missing anything by not being there.
In addition, very young children can be very noisy and disruptive, not because they intend to be, but because making noise is the only way they have to communicate their basic needs to adults.
Funerals and graveside services are quiet occasions where both the grieving family and the gathered mourners are reflecting on a life that has ended and on their own mortality. There should be no disruption during this very contemplative and reflective time.
Second, make sure that what you wear to a funeral service or a graveside service is appropriate. Some people don’t understand exactly what this means, and it can either cause an uproar (if you look like you’re going clubbing, for instance) for the bereaved family and other mourners or it can cause discomfort for you (if, for instance, you wear a work uniform or clothes that are specific to your trade or profession and the service is during the middle of your workday).
The family may be explicit in their loved one’s obituary about attire. For example, some people never wanted to dress up when they were alive, so their families may point to that and invite people to attend the funeral service or graveyard service in comfortable attire. Even if that is the case, you should wear clothes that are modest, in good taste, and that are not sloppy, tattered, or torn.
If the deceased’s obituary doesn’t specify a type of attire, then business casual attire is considered to be respectful attire. However, if you are attending a service during your work day and you have a uniform or work clothes on, it is perfectly acceptable to attend the funeral or graveside service in those. The family will be glad that you took the time to be there.
Another way to show respect at a funeral service or a graveside service is to be on time. You should plan to be wherever you need to be at least 15 minutes before the scheduled start time of a funeral service or graveside service (if you are driving in the funeral process from the funeral home to the cemetery, you should be at the funeral home 15 minutes before the scheduled departure time).
Turn your phone off, mute it, or, better yet, leave it in the car when you are attending a funeral service or a graveside service. For a very short span of time, you can show your respect for the person who died and their loved ones by having your attention solely focused on them. Whatever’s on the other end of that phone can stop and wait for the duration.
If you want to know more about showing respect at Tallahassee funeral homes, our compassionate and experienced staff at Lifesong Funerals & Cremations can help.
